Monday, February 14, 2011

:The Release:

He gives and takes away,
He gives and takes away,
My heart will choose to say,
Lord, blessed be Your name.

I crave control. That's been a part of my personality ever since birth. I watched some old family videos this week, and the fight for control reared its ugly head in many ways, from telling my brothers what to do to arguing with my mom about if Dumbo could really fly. (Now I sound like a horrible child; I promise I had some redeeming qualities.)

Perhaps my need for control also comes from being the oldest of 5 kids. By the age of 12, I would be left home with the younger siblings, fix dinner for them, bathe the ones that needed it, do some laundry and clean the house all before my parents came home. For a few short hours, I ruled that house.

But, God is breaking me of this.

Quite honestly, in every area of my life right now, I have zero control. And the eye opening thing about it is that that has been the case my whole life....your whole life too.

Regardless of the control we think we might have, we are all utterly powerless. I take comfort in that. If nothing I've done has gotten me where I am today, then all the glory to God for the life I'm now living. Which means I have no business telling God which part of my life He can have, and which He can't. He must rule every decision, every relationship, every thought, every action.

I hold onto the things God has given me with an open hand.

-L

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